Funny Quotes on Life That Teach You to Lighten Up

I find funny things happening around me all the time. Just the other day, my husband and my kids were tap dancing around the house. Usually, my husband is not predisposed to dancing, but here he was making tribal sounds and jerking his shoulders, as if he had been partially electrocuted. And no, this was not a new dancing style in vogue. This was simply his attempt to hunt a little spider. That little creature had suddenly decided to go bungee-jumping from the ceiling straight into my hubbys clothes. So why were the kids tap dancing too? Because they were excited, as they expected him to turn spidery and crawl up the walls, like their favorite superhero. Well, he almost made their wish come true.And if things couldnt get worse, I managed to get out of the tangled web of spiders to walk straight into a hive of angry bees at the park. Thats when I saw some neighborhood kids laughing their guts out. I wonder what could be so funny about an oversized woman running in the park with a purse above her head, and a host of buzzing bees angrily chasing her. It was probably the high heels that grabbed too much attention!br/ >Life Is FunnyLifes funny at times. You find many situations that make you smirk or smile. Perhaps you read a funny status message on Facebook or Twitter? Or perhaps a friend said something hilarious that kept you smiling through the day? Life is funny, when you look at the lighter side of things. Humor keeps stress at bay, and makes time pass smoothly, like a well-oiled machine.Humor can be a double-edged sword though. Statements laced with sarcasm can drive home a point. Want to tell your neighbor that his dog stinks? Poke harmless fun at your neighbor. Maybe he will get the message. But what if you tell your boss that you are overworked and underpaid? Try making a humorous remark that subtly drives the message home. You may actually end up with a fatter paycheck or some other perks. That is, if you dont get fired for speaking up.What If You Cant Spot the Funny Stuff?If you are blessed with a funny bone, you will see the funnier side of things. However, if you lack the ability to laugh, you may need help. Read these funny quotes on life. These quotes inspire you to find humor in the mundane. Whether you are trying to understand humor or life, there is a lot to gain from funny quotes.Alyce P. Cornyn-SelbyA perfect method of adding drama to life is to wait until the deadline looms large.Jane Wagner, The Search for Intelligent Life in The UniverseAll my life, I always wanted to be somebody. Now I see that I should have been more specific.Woody AllenAll people know the same truth. Our lives consist of how we choose to distort it.Yogi BerraAlways go to other peoples funerals, otherwise they wont come to yours.Herbert SamuelAn autobiography is the story of how a man thinks he lived.Mark Twain Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.Lao-TzuBorn to be wild - live to outgrow it.Robert GronockHe who sleeps on the floor will not fall off the bed.Woody AllenI am not afraid of death, I just dont want to be there when it happens.Winston ChurchillI am prepared to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.Woody AllenI do not believe in an afterlife, although I am bringing a change of underwear.Whoopi GoldbergI dont like driving very much. That makes me very unhappy, because I scream a lot in the car, but other than that, life is actually pretty good.Jim RohnI find it fascinating that most people plan their vacations with better care than they do their lives.Oscar WildeI put all my genius into my life; I put only my talent into my works.Dean SmithIf you’re going to make every game a matter of life or death, you’re going to have a lot of problems. For one thing, you’ll be dead a lot.Joey AdamsIn life, its not who you know thats important, its how your wife found out.Truman CapoteLife is a moderately good play with a badly written third act.Oscar WildeLife is far too important a thing ever to talk seriously about.Bertrand RussellLife is nothing but a comp etition to be the criminal rather than the victim.Djuna BarnesLife is painful, nasty and short... in my case it has only been painful and nasty.Bob MonkhousePersonally, I dont think theres intelligent life on other planets. Why should other planets be any different from this one?Fran LebowitzStand firm in your refusal to remain conscious during algebra. In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.George CarlinThe day after tomorrow is the third day of the rest of your life.Robert HeinleinThe supreme irony of life is that hardly anyone gets out of it alive.Oscar WildeThere are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.Benjamin FranklinWere it offered to my choice, I should have no objection to a repetition of the same life from its beginning, only asking the advantages authors have in a second edition to correct some faults in the first.Mark TwainWhen we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.Stephen FryA cousin of mine who was a casualty surgeon in Manhattan tells me that he and his colleagues had a one-word nickname for bikers: Donors. Rather chilling.Neil SimonHe’s too nervous to kill himself. He wears his seat belt in a drive-in movie.Jim CarreyI think everybody should get rich and famous and do everything they ever dreamed of so they can see that its not the answer.Henny YoungmanI told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.Stephen WrightI went to a restaurant that serves breakfast at any time. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.Mae WestIs that a gun in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me?Cathy GuisewiteMothers, food, love, and career: the four major guilt groups.Amelia EarhartNever interrupt someone doing what you said couldnt be done.Mark TwainNever put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.Sholom AleichemNo matter how bad things get, you got to go on living, even if it kills you.

Generation Gap in Raison in the Sun - 740 Words

A Generation Gap in a Raisin in the Sun There is a big generation gap in the book A Raisin in the Sun. There are three different generations all living in the same old cramped apartment. The family has been living in the apartment for at least forty years and has never been able to own their home. With this generation gap there is quite a lot of arguments and complaining. Walter and Ruth get into conflicts all of the time, and then there is Walter and Mama with their struggle for the money. These are just some of the conflicts in this story. The generation gap poses problems between Mama, Walter, and Beneatha. Mama has stuck to her same values ever since she was a child. She is the oldest women in the apartment, and is the wisest. She†¦show more content†¦Beneatha is a woman a little younger than Walter. She has a feud with mama about how she likes to try a lot of things, because she wants to learn how to express herself in many different ways to see which way is right for her. She is more educated than the rest of the people in her family, so she is pretty smart. She wants to become a doctor because she once saw a kids face get split open, and aShow MoreRelatedEssay The Thought Process of Shakespeares Hamlet4082 Words   |  17 Pageshis lament in his first soliloquy over his mothers speedy remarriage: O God, a beast that wants discourse of reason / Would have mournd longer (I.ii.150-151). The roots of this bipolar vision can be traced to Hamlets paternal doubles, his Sun-god (the Sun also being the Royal emblem) biological father and animalistic stepfather: So excellent a kin g, that was to this / Hyperion to a satyr (I.ii.139-140). Hamlet creates metaphors of infinitude to further his God/man separation, but ShakespeareRead MoreRetail Store Design and Layout15254 Words   |  62 Pagespedestal. 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Ethical Issues in Engineering-Free-Samples-Myassignmenthelp.com

Question: Anayse the Ethical Issues in Engineering and Construction. Answer: Field of research The research is on ethical issues facing in engineering and construction. My profession is engineering and this project topic is selected for my research. The selected topic is appropriate for my research, as it forms of ethical standards within the engineering as well as construction industry by proposing of actual measures on cases of breaking up of buildings (Basart Serra, 2013). The main rationale of this research is to investigate for the ethical issues facing in the industry with superior importance placed knowledge of the ethical codes of conduct, audit process, unfair conduct and strict rules. Lots of ethical issues are playing a key significant role in design context. Source of secondary data The secondary sources are used to collect data for the research. Published sources such as research reports, government publications and journal articles on the selected topic are used. Newspaper as well as magazines is also used to collect data in respect to social aspects. The advantages of use of secondary data are that it saves the time spent to collect data. The secondary data has pre-established degree of both validity as well as reliability (Harris Jr et al., 2013). The data are analyzed to answer to critical research questions. There are certain ethical issues of the secondary data analysis that are taken care before data handling. Research questions Following are the research questions: What are the ethical issues in an engineering and construction project? How do engineers deal with the ethical issues during the design processes? What are the mitigation steps taken to overcome with the ethical issues? Search terms to identify literature in the field of the research question The search terms are ethical issues in engineering, ethical codes of conduct and engineering ethics. Combination of three resources The sources selected to conduct literature review are all based on ethical ethics used in engineering. It also analyzes the ethical and privacy principles on engineering domain. References Basart, J. M., Serra, M. (2013). Engineering ethics beyond engineers ethics.Science and Engineering Ethics,19(1), 179-187. Ferrell, O. C., Fraedrich, J. (2015).Business ethics: Ethical decision making cases. Nelson Education. Harris Jr, C. E., Pritchard, M. S., Rabins, M. J., James, R., Englehardt, E. (2013).Engineering ethics: Concepts and cases. Cengage Learning. Pardo, A., Siemens, G. (2014). Ethical and privacy principles for learning analytics.British Journal of Educational Technology,45(3), 438-450. Slade, S., Prinsloo, P. (2013). Learning analytics: Ethical issues and dilemmas.American Behavioral Scientist,57(10), 1510-1529.

Basketball Essay Research Paper BasketballBasketball was created free essay sample

Basketball Essay, Research Paper Basketball Basketball was created a simple game. The primary aim was to put a ball, without trickling, into a Prunus persica basket. However, like Darwin s theory of adult male, hoops has evolved into the most exciting exhibition of athletic ability. Basketball has seen many regulation alterations, because of the increasing ability of the participants. Basketball is a runing pot, where black, white, and European people excel. This is a athletics that is colour-blind. This athletics requires complete control over one s organic structure and head. Pure strength is required to contend through opposing squads choices, and to derive place for recoils. Speed is necessary to make infinite for a changeable effort or a base on balls. Concentration is critical to trickling a ball up the tribunal, with an opposing guardian harassing you. With every bit much physical art that is required for success, hoops is a mental cheat lucifer. We will write a custom essay sample on Basketball Essay Research Paper BasketballBasketball was created or any similar topic specifically for you Do Not WasteYour Time HIRE WRITER Only 13.90 / page Thurber, make the smart drama! shouted Coach Balderama all last season. This game is merely 10 percent physical as Duke s Coach K explains it. For those who deny the mental facets of the game, John Stockton is an ideal illustration. He is non the fastest, strongest, or best participant on the floor. Stockton uses angles and his apprehension of hoops to softly and systematically outplay much more gifted oppositions. There is a turning job in the NBA, and it is apparent in the Pop Warner leagues besides. Basketball is non the same game it was 10 old ages ago, and ESPN s Sportcenter, the deficiency of basicss, and the inflow of adolescents into the professional ranks. Vince Carter on the baseline He raises up Boo-ya, all in Alonzo Mourning s grill! States an exited Stuart Scott. Every twenty-four hours ESPN gathers the most astonishing high spots from the games the dark before, and creates a visually appealing montage. As a spiritual spectator I am fed a steady diet of no expression passes, monstrous slam-dunks, and impossible fade-away shootings that merely NBA quality participants are capable of doing. This, about unwittingly, has assisted in making a new outlook towards the athletics. Last season I would happen myself in state of affairss where I was seeking to put to death a dramatic drama, alternatively of finishing the easy 1. Why do I seek to copy the sweeping crossing over dribble glorified by Allen Iverson? ESPN has made Playground hoops in manner. Allen Iverson is the innovator of this ghetto revolution. On the tribunal his manner is comparable to Pistol Pete on acid. He incorporates every agency of Show-time, from his diamond-infested g arb to his brassy jokes off the tribunal. He is from the ghetto, and ESPN exploits this dark Equus caballus image. Along with his # 8220 ; Playground manner # 8221 ; , that ruins old ages of coaching basicss, he is involved in a thuggish life style. Iverson, and many other participants, are still immature work forces who participate in smoking weed, crushing adult females, and multiple other illegal activities invariably. ESPN receives the constabulary studies and bleeds the information to the populace. Hoops Junkies, like myself, hear the information and we form sentiments. Contrary to logical logical thinking, ESPN makes me hearten a participant for these usually criminal Acts of the Apostless. Latrell Sprewell attempted to smother his manager, and less that six months subsequently he is praised like a adult male who found the remedy for malignant neoplastic disease. Player s Realness lies in direct proportion with their life style. American media wants the bad male childs, beca use there is a more interesting behind them. With this traveling on, young persons across the universe are feed the message smoke weed, all in adult females, and most significantly bury the squad construct and dip the stone. ESPN is non the lone beginning of incrimination for the non-existent morality of hoops, but I can straight associate it to the American public s warped positions and sentiments of the professional hoops participant. Since the initiation of the three-point discharge, hoops has changed. Players ground, why settee for a certain bank shooting from 17 pess when I can step back a twosome of pess and be rewarded for an extra point. That is the modern mentality of hoops participants, and I catch myself taking a tough three over an easy two for no evident ground. Players, these yearss, are excessively talented. Back in the 70 s Oscar Robertson was by far the most athletically gifted participant, but today his endowment would about travel unnoticed. The NBA participants now are on changeless preparation regimens that are making the most physically impressive jocks in Thursday e universe. These jocks are invariably in season, but they are passing more clip with their strength/conditioning managers than their caput managers. Each participant is an impressive physical specimen, and today participants can leap higher and run faster than of all time. This should make an aeriform flow to the game, because with all of the endowment the game moderately would be faster and more spectacular than of all time before. Contrary to this premise, last season the NBA had the lowest scoring mean per game in many old ages. Coachs know that endowment merely gets you in the door, and the remainder is complete dedication to the mental facets of the game. Rick Pitino was an first-class college manager at Kentucky ; here he benefited from his participant s superior endowments. Now as the manager for the Boston Celtics his squad consists of ex-Kentucky stars, but the consequences are opposite. His participants lack simple basicss such as teamwork, running a set discourtesy, and t he construct of squad defence. Even with systematically losing seasons, participants are non acquiring the image. Michael Jordan was by springs and bounds the most gifted participant on the floor. He, unlike his equals, chose to profit from basicss and this allowed him to be the most dominant participant of all clip. Michael found the easiest manner for himself to hit, his unstoppable fade-away, and so focused his attempts on another facet of the game. Coachs know that the deficiency of basicss are damaging to the game, but no immature, cheeky ace wants to take clip to larn the game when his endowments entirely will let him to drive the most epicurean Lexus now. My junior twelvemonth of high school my squad played one of the perennial human dynamos, Elsik. We lost the game by a big sum of points, but what was most impressive was Rashard Lewis. He was drafted right out high school into the NBA. Sing that we were about the same age, I question how can he be ready for the NBA? I can hardly manage college categories, and he is already started his calling. Rashard s accomplishments were impressive, but he was undisciplined like all adolescents are. The conference is flooded with his type ; he skipped holding perchance a historical college calling to model on the bench in the NBA. Rashard was non prepared for this degree of competition, or the lifestyle and duty that accompany it. He was 18 old ages old with 1000000s of dollars at his control, and he is expected to understand puting for the hereafter. The conference has a job, and it foremost became an issue when Kevin Garnett decided he was NBA stuff. Although he and Kobe Bryant have been success ful, they both acknowledge that college is the right option. These two are exclusions, because Jermaine O neal, Al Harrington, and now Jonathan Bender are sing what the NBA is like off of the telecasting. These childs are perchance ready physically, but mentally they are retarded. Every high school participant who jumps directly to the NBA has troubles seting to the wild adult females of different metropoliss, the power of their tremendous wage, and the force per unit area to execute right off. Tim Duncan, every bit talented as any participant to of all time play the game, stayed in college four old ages and is a premier illustration of the benefits of adulthood. He spent his clip honing his endowments to NBA quality, and he educated himself about the game and life off of the tribunal. Many of these participants who jump to the pro s after small or no college are nescient. The NBA, these yearss, has a combined IQ of 15, and we wonder what is incorrect. The NBA is in a oblivion, and is stumbling over it s ain gawky pess. The game will non acquire better until the participants improve their degrees of drama. But betterment comes with experience, and it is hard for participants to derive experience and assurance when they are merely kids seeking to get the hang a complex game. In decision, ESPN s Sportcenter, the deficiency of basic hoops basicss, and the decreasing age of participants come ining into the conference is a formula for catastrophe. It is a rhythm that is traveling to be difficult to interrupt. Today s childs are presented with options that are excessively hard for them to grok. So alternatively of making it the right manner and traveling through school and listening to their manager, agents are give arrant control over these exploited kids. However, with all of the negatives environing the game, hoops will last. David Stern is a competent commissioner and there is excessively much money involved for people to allow the NBA ego destruct.